The [Whole] Engagement Story

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Back a little over a year ago, I announced my engagement to my blog. The Beginning of the Happiest Day of My Life. That's what I called it. But unfortunately it wasn't all sunshine and roses around that time. 

I didn't realize until last week when I was answering the Finish This questions, that I had never actually told the full story around the engagement. I had only told about the happy parts. I left out the negativity because I didn't want to think about it. But I'm ready to let my readers know the full story.

To truly tell the story to the best of my ability without being bias I have to go back to close to January 1, 2013. John and I had planned a trip to Alabama for New Years. Being the only child and a girl, my parents don't like for me to drive down to Charleston by myself. So instead we took a family trip down to Myrtle Beach and John was going to come get me from there. Something funny was going on with his debit card. He couldn't get money out of his account. So unfortunately he couldn't come up to the beach to get me. My parents reacted to this as he was a bad person, saying that he wasn't good enough for me. He had lied to them and me. They wanted nothing more to do with him. Apparently they thought I should feel the same way.

But I didn't. I knew that crap happens that we can't control. For some reason it was meant for us to not go down to Alabama. Anyway, because of my parents anger, they refused to let us see each other. John and I had secretly planned to see each other when his sister had planned a trip up to Virginia to visit me during spring break in late March. 

March arrived and after not seeing John for four months, I was so happy to just be able to wrap my arms around him. I didn't care that I had lied to my parents about him coming up with Em his sister. I didn't care about anything but being happy. While he was up here, we took a trip out to my college. The first place we met. That is where he proposed to me. That is where the happiness took place.

Then the worrying set in. I knew I couldn't hide this from my parents. They were going to be furious with me. I had lied to them about John being there. They didn't like him because of what happened back in January, 2013 and would not be happy about the engagement. But I knew I had to tell them.

The next day I walked into my house with John, the surprise visitor. As my mom walked into the kitchen she was shocked to see John standing in there. All of a sudden I just blurted out, John and I got engaged. I knew if I didn't just come out and say it, I wouldn't have the courage. 

She looked at me with a mixture of surprise and hate and said that she couldn't be happy for me. After that I don't remember much. Some kind of conversation took place. She was not happy and neither was I. Eventually it came to the fact that I was packing my bags and was leaving for Alabama. I didn't want to stay in my house where I'd spend the last three months unhappy because I couldn't talk about John and I couldn't see him. 

One of the last things I remember my mom saying before I left my house to leave on the car ride to Alabama was that I was breaking up the family. I don't even recall her crying. Maybe she did after I left, I"m not sure. But I cried in John's lap the hour it took us to get from my house to North Carolina. Somewhere after that I fell asleep. After dropping John off in South Carolina, I was numb. I rode the eight hours back to my future in-laws house just watching the trees pass until it got dark. 

John's parents were very welcoming. They became my second family. I was and still am so thankful for them. All and all I stayed down in Alabama for about four months. Coming back to Virginia was almost as hard as leaving it. 

This story is also the reason John and I have not yet begun planning out wedding. We wanted it to be June 15, 2014. But after everything that happened in the spring of last year, we decided that we would wait a little for my parents to be okay with the idea of us getting married. Though it's becoming tougher and tougher to wait. My hope is that we will find the strength and the right moment in 2015 to be able to get married.

**I thought after this time I would be able to tell my story without becoming upset, but I was wrong. If there are errors in words or spelling please forgive me. I couldn't take re-reading it to check over my writing**

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  1. This story makes me happy and sad at the same time. I know that it is hard to have your family be upset at your decision to marry John but at the same time you need to do what makes you happy. No one else has the right to take your happiness from you and honestly that is what your family is doing. You need to do what is best for your relationship with John and eventually your family will come around. Marry him no matter what even if that means doing it at the courthouse. Life is too short sweet friend. Be happy!

  2. This makes me so sad. I cant believe your parents still havent came around. I mean he makes you happy and that should be good enough for them. I am so sorry that so much sadness came with your engagement but I am sure this will work out!

    Love Always,

  3. I'm so sorry to hear your struggle with your family, Ashley. Parents will always believe they know what's best for you - whether they're right or not. In the end, this is your life and your future. If your parents get onboard, WONDERFUL. If not, don't halt your life for them. Big hugs.

  4. Oh my! I really hope you and your parents can come to some sort of agreement and resolution. I know being with John makes you happy, and that is so important, but having your parents' blessing is so important, too! Such a tough spot to be in! Thinking of you, friend!

  5. I'm sorry that you had a negative aspect to your engagement, but what matters in the end is that you feel like you are doing the right thing and are truly happy. Sometimes to get to happiness, we have to suffer with difficult situations, but in the end, it will work out the way it is suppose to work out. xoxo

  6. I am in tears reading your story. You are a strong and brave woman for making your own decisions and not relying on your folks to tell you what is right and wrong. An engagement should be a happy and joyous time, not one of sadness and grief. As a parent myself, I want what is best for my child, but forbidding someone to see the person they love and simply shunning them after they've made that choice is sad and disheartening. You love who you love (...singing courtesy of John Mayer and Katie Perry). Embrace it. Enjoy it. And I will be thinking of you and praying your folks do eventually come around. Hugs!

  7. Oh I'm sorry to read this. I really hope that things can be smoothed out with your folks and you and John can have the wedding of your dreams with out the added stress. Hugs!