When I first started thinking about confidence as my main focus for American Honey, I wasn’t sure how I would make it work. Could I come up with enough content? Would everything I wrote about be relate-able to confidence? Would this be something I really wanted to write about all the time on the blog? I had plenty of other questions running though my head. This was a huge step for me. After all, I hope to keep going in this direction for the duration of my blog!
As I was pondering over confidence, I recalled a time back in college. I’m not exactly sure why this memory stuck with me, but it did. At the time I was dating a Marine who was stationed roughly 5 hours away. I was also battling depression which didn’t make the long distance relationship any easier. He had come up for his long weekend and we had a particularly nice one, though we didn’t do much. But eventually Sunday came and he had to go back to the base. I remember being so sad I cried in bed for a few hours. Finally I was able to pull myself out of bed when it turned dark outside to go to Walmart to get some food. I remember putting on makeup to hide my red eyes from where I’d been crying and some nicer clothes to make myself feel better even though I didn’t feel that great. While I was there I ran into a girl from my French class. I didn’t know her all that well, but she was friend of a good friend of mine so I said hello when I saw here and kept on my way, hoping she didn’t notice my red eyes. Later on when I spoke to my good friend who called to check on me, she told me that her friend had saw me in Walmart and said I always looked so neat, put together and confident in myself….
Like I said, I’m not sure why that story stuck with me, except that it was a very nice compliment. But it really made me think about outwardly appearances. It is very easy to come across as confident in the 3 seconds you say hello in Walmart and keep walking by. It can even be fairly easy to seem confident in a 5 minute chat with a coworker. But that isn’t what I think of as confidence. When I think of confidence I think of somebody who is strong and secure with who they are, but honestly it means so much more than just outwardly appearances.
To me confidence is...
looking good. feeling good. knowing that I can do something (that’s easy or even something not a lot of people can do). knowing my strengths (and trying to expand them and use them whenever I can). being proud of my successes. following my heart and what I know is right. taking risks no matter what the outcome. being graceful and having grace.
And those are only a portion of what I think of as being confident. Confidence doesn’t have to come naturally, but it is something you have even if nobody is looking! It goes well beyond your looks, your physical strength or even emotional strength. It can be related to every piece of your life, and ultimately that’s why I decided that I should write about confidence in my blog.
I know there will be a point in everybody’s life where their faith in their selves is going to be tested. Whether it is getting the courage to get out of bed after crying for hours or just putting on that bathing suit and heading out on the beach, I wanted to share that you are not alone. You can build up the confidence to conquer anything and I want to be here to help you!