Sparking Joy

Friday, April 27, 2018

This morning walking through the empty hallways of work carrying a handful of paperwork to be signed, I had the idea that I needed to sit down and write again. I thought back to the last time I wrote down what I was truly thinking and I couldn't even remember the last time I did that. Writing blog posts used to give me so much joy and it is missing from my life.  

As I've grown older, I spend so much time doing the things I "need" to do, that more often than not, I don't spend much time doing things that bring me pleasure. What brings me pleasure has actually become a little questionable. I try to trick myself into getting pleasure from cleaning the house because "a clean house will feel so good to be in". At least that's what I tell my brain but my brain usually protests saying that it's still work, just work at home and not at a job. After rolling my eyes at the internal debate between myself and my brain, I spend the majority of the morning on weekends cleaning the house only to have it feel messy again by Tuesday. (Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way!) 

A coworker and I were recently talking about cleaning our houses and how it can often seem like such a daunting task. She told me she had tried the KonMari Method at her house and had some success with it. I borrowed the book from her and have been slowly reading through it. It's changed how I think about all tasks somewhat; making me want to do more things that spark joy and less tasks that make me a "grumpasarus" (that's Texan's word for when I'm very agitated and grumpy).  

A few weekends ago, my mom and I ran the Monument Ave 10k in Richmond. I had been training for it for weeks. I have to say, it was actually pleasurable most weeks getting up and going for a run with my mom or a walk with my dad. While the race was not quite as fun as I had anticipated due to the extremely hot weather and the fear of passing out from a combination of dehydration and heat stroke, I still enjoyed crossing the finish line, getting our finishers medal and taking pictures with my mom. I've actually been on the hunt for more races to complete over the spring and summer. 

To be honest though my thoughts of sparking joy weren't solely based on Marie Kondo's book "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up". While her guide did give me the idea of "sparking joy", I had been feeling this "life's too short" feeling for a few months now. In early March my dad was diagnosed with cancer. We have had no reason to believe that he can't overcome this cancer, but it has still given me the need to enjoy even the small moments, to not take things for granted and to appreciate everybody in my life. I hope this is a normal reaction to such news, but even if it isn't, it has helped me open my eyes to living a more fulfilling and pleasurable life. 

Thank you for reading my post. I am grateful for each and every one of you! 

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